Effects Divorce Has on Children Essay Example

Effects Divorce Has on Children Essay Example Effects Divorce Has on Children Essay Effects Divorce Has on Children Essay Pablo Del Toro Ms. Wedemeyer ENG 101. 600/601 12 July 2010 Divorce Affecting Children More than half of all relationships in the Unites States result in a divorce. It is not only emotional and devastating for the couple but this also has a huge effect on the children involved. Many parents that go through these crises lack the knowledge of the effects that their children may go through. They may not know the internal and external effects that may happen through the eyes of a child. When divorce happens in a child’s environment many feelings start to take place. Some may have feelings of confusion and some may express themselves through anger. A child may have a conduct disorder to express their feelings of hurtfulness and sorrow, the child may show signs of impulsivity and hyperactivity which may lead to antisocialism. These are many signs that can be easily seen in children, but there are other feelings that may not be as noticeable by a child like depression and anxiety. These feelings lead many children to lower cognitive and social competence. Therefore lower social competence children may start to have academic problems that may lead to many obstacles throughout the child’s life. Many studies showed that a child that had experienced divorce showed lower IQ results in reading, spelling, and math than a child with an intact family. Many teachers noticed that students who came from divorce families were more likely to be given â€Å"lower teacher ratings of academic achievement, independent learning, involvement, and intellectual dependency† (Grych par. 8). This was not the only problems divorce children showed but they also stood out in class as being the one that always would disturb others, this distracted other kids in class and became a major problem to teachers. Since many children experience divorce at a young age these effects seem to carry on throughout their life, many experience â€Å"poorer school performances and less ambitious education plans, fewer had a high school education and more of them were employed† (Aro p 424). There are factors that do specify how a child may act; one of these factors is gender. There are studies that do show that boys tend to act a little more different than girls. Boys tend to be more aggressive and have a bad conduct while girls are the ones that tend to be shyer and get depressed and may have a lower self esteem. In girls, studies show that â€Å"at age 22, 17. 4% of the daughters from divorce families scored for depression in the S-BDI, compared with 11. 5% of the daughters from nondivorced families† (Aro p 424). For boys the same study was done and showed that â€Å"sons were 14. 0% vs. 7. %† (Aro p 424). Age is another factor that explains the way humans act when a divorce occurs. In young children their of understanding why certain things happen are not quite clear and this may lead to a child blaming themselves for their parents’ divorce or even having the fear of being abandoned. A child that is in their elementary years has a little more knowledge and there behaviors may be more concerned in the concept of why their parents le ft each other and may long for their departure resulting in depression. When a child is at an older age they â€Å"express greater anger about the divorce, tend to blame one of the parents for the divorce, and may develop somatic symptoms† (Grych par 12). Regardless of any age difference the ones that have the most impact are the younger children. Economic status also has a huge effect in a child’s life. When a family stays together there are typically two ways of income, one from the father and one from the mother. Both of these incomes become one and when the parents divide the income is split. This is where a child’s environment changes and many stress factors come in place. One factor that greatly influences a child’s life is the way a divorce is handled by the parents. Every parent goes through the process of custody. A parent should try to never fight over who is going to take the child in front of the child. The preferred way of doing things is to obtain a mediator. This person whom the two adults hire is a person that they will talk and figure out and come to an understanding of what both parents want instead of fighting over the issues in a court room and having the judge decide the outcome for them. Research shows that â€Å"mediation decreases the likelihood of litigations after the final divorce decree and leads to a higher rate of pretrial agreements and to greater satisfaction with the divorce process among divorcing couples† (Grynch par 77). This is a crucial aspect in the family’s life because this is the turning point that decides when and how often the child is going to get to see each parent. The second important factor is the discipline each parent brings to their children. Research shows that both parent genders have different ways of disciplining the child after a divorce happens. A mother whom has the most custody over her child tends to have fewer demands on behavior resulting in very few monitoring of her children and tend to have a decrease in communication. Studies show that mothers tend to be â€Å"more inconsistent in their discipline, had less positive relationships with their children, and made fewer maturity demands† (Marjorie p 146) . As for fathers they tend to be more permissive and indulgent and this may result in children being obeying and following the house rules. There are many support groups that can help parents deal with the hardships of divorce like the â€Å"Stolberg Cullen† program. This program is 10 sessions long and focuses on â€Å"problems faced by custodial parents, common emotional responses to divorce, and methods for helping ex-spouses develop a cooperative coparental relationship after the divorce† (Grynch par 50). There are other groups that help divorce parents like; â€Å"Wolchik, Westover, Sandler, and Balls†, Kessler Beyond Divorce program†, and â€Å"Bloom, Hodges, Kern, McFaddin† program. All of these programs have goals to improve â€Å"discipline skills, improving communication between parents and children and between former spouses, and controlling feelings† (Grinch par 53). There are also groups for children that have experienced divorce. These groups are made to â€Å"help children by alleviating the negative feelings, misconceptions, and practical problems† (Grinch par 17). One type of group is an environment that involves sessions with four to ten children in a group. This group is meant to help the child not feel alone and helps the child understand that other children like them are going through the same; the child may also feel more comfortable sharing their experience with people their same age. Another type of group is done in school; this is a erfect method to give more children an opportunity to meet with a counselor or a case worker. Many children that come from lower income families do not have the privilege to get this kind of help and by schools doing this it lets many children receive the help and support they may need. Another good aspect of the school method is that since everything is done in school the counselor and the teacher s have a better understanding of how the child is doing on a daily basis because it is easy for the teacher and counselor to communicate what is going on throughout the school day. More than half of all relationships in the Unites States result in a divorce. It is not only emotional and devastating for the couple but this also has a huge effect on the children involved. Many parents that go through these crises lack the knowledge of the effects that their children may go through. They may not know the internal and external effects that may happen through the eyes of a child. Aro, Hillevi M. , and Ulla K. Palosaari. Parental divorce, adolescence, and transition to young adulthood: A follow-up study. Ebscohost. US: American Orthopsychiatric Association, Inc. , 01 Dec. 1992. Web. 16 Nov. 2009. . Grych, John H. Interventions for children of divorce: Toward greater integration of research and action. Ebscohost. US: American Psychological Association, 01 Aug. 1992. Web. 16 Nov. 2009. . Marjorie, Pett A. , Bruce E. Wampold, Charles W. Turner, and Beth Vaughan-Cole. Paths of influence of divorce on preschool childrens psychosocial adjustment. Ebscohost 19990701. US: American Psychological Association, 1 July 1999. Web. 16 N